Am I ready for this? Perhaps it's not about me...

It's been an interesting few months on the dating/watch websites.  I've laughed, blushed, and wished for a "hell no!" button while I trolled through various profiles.  I've also learned a lot about men.

1.  Guys are insecure, perhaps even more so than women, especially the older ones.  They pose with the guts sucked in, ams flexed, while straddling their motorcycles (in front of their boats, cottage, or plane).
2.  They long for respect from a beautiful woman, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 
3.  Men hate to be alone, especially when they've been married.  It's surprising to me how many, who are still married (legally separated), have profiles on the sites.  Well, at least they're honest about their circumstances.

God certainly knows how long I've been waiting and praying for someone; a very long time.  But recently, I've gone from really wanting to be married to wanting to take things slow and be in a relationship.  It's a big deal to take the marriage step, and it's not something to be rushed into. 

Even a relationship should not be rushed into blindly.  I've been sitting along side the dating pool for so long, with narry a toe dipped in, I figured I should "paddle around" a bit first.  So, three dates in a matter of a couple weeks, and enough new insite into men to write a psych paper.  And then Randy comes along.

Thursday evening, an IM request, do I want to accept?  Sure, why not.  Okay, so I looked at this guys profile a few days earlier, and liked what I read and his photos.  He's divorced (98% of the guys are), lives in Zeeland, is 46, and the content of his profile is thoughtful and sincere.  What had caught my eye when I initially read his profile is his request for respect from the woman he' in a relationship with. 

So we IM for awhile, but the line keep crashing.  We laugh about whose computer is doing it.  We try to IM on Google, but I can't figure it out.  We e-mail, but that takes so long, so we finally talk on the phone.  He's got a nice voice to go with his beautiful, blue eyes.  It's 12:30 a.m., and we both have to work Friday, time to hang up.  While drifting off to sleep, I think about kissing Randy and am seized with panic.  I haven't kissed anyone in over 15 years!  What if I've forgotten how?!  I used to be really good at it, but now I don't know.  What if I stink at it?!  Oy vey.

Friday, 7:15 a.m., a text message from Randy wishing me a good day.  That made my day.  How nice to have someone wish me a good day!

It's Saturday, and we've e-mailed/texted/talked, and things are still clicking, but we've not even talked about meeting.  I want to meet him.  Heck, I want to introduce him to my friends - I'm kind a crushing on him already! 

*Sigh*  While driving home from grocery shopping, I think about how Thursday I was praying that God would bring about that relationship, and now...is it anything?  If it is, amy I ready?  Even if I'm ready, maybe it's not about me, but about Randy.  Maybe it's just another learning experience and it won't culminate into anything.  Maybe it'll culminate into...mmmaarr...can't say it.  Maybe I'm overthinking this, and I should just stick with my earlier prayer for wisdom/discernment and God's will in this situation.

Are you kidding me?!

Browsing dating profiles brings me through a range of emotions, but the one tonight really made me think, "are you kidding me?!" 

Some profile photos have others (women:  ex-wife, fiance, girlfriend, friend-with-benefits) with the guy who's lookin for love.  It's obvious by the long tendril of hair curling across his shoulder, or the well-manicured hand draped around him, but this photo takes the cake!

Guy, late-40's, balding, with glasses, in his discount suit/tie in a formal couple picture (think anniversary or church phonebook) with a woman wearing glasses, neatly coiffed, and wearing a lovely blouse.  I'm thinking this is this man and his wife!  For a dating profile photo (the only one!)  He's also not even divorced yet, but "legally separated" from his wife!  Are you kidding me?!  "This guy goes on that he's looking for new friends and is involved in church activities." 

Some of the profiles evoke sympathy, some fear (Unibomber?!), many fall-off-the-couch hysterical laughter, but I just cannot fathom the guys who aren't even divorced and are trolling the dating/match websites.